I have a love-hate relationship with Amber Rose and Kanye West.

I’m obsessed with Amber’s Funny or Die “Walk Of No Shame” video; not-so-much obsessed with this gem of advice from her book, How To Be A Bad Bitch: “Don’t text him back for 10 minutes. You’re busy, ladies.” You’re above playing into gender stereotypes, Amber!

And while I love, love, LOVE Ye’s over-the-top confidence (seriously, everyone should have a piece of that), I can’t get on board with his affinity for slut-shaming women—namely, Amber Rose.

West and Rose during happier times.

West and Rose during happier times.

Kanye has hurled a vast array of insults at Amber Rose and her stripper past over the years—remember when he said he had to take “30 showers” after dating Rose before his now-wife Kim K would sleep with him? In fact, Ye’s constant put-downs are partly what encouraged Amber Rose to start speaking up against slut shaming and launch The Amber Rose Slut Walk, which is one of my favorite things to happen in the feminist community lately.

 

The idea is genius...

 

 

Hundreds of women and men gather in Downtown LA each year, wearing shirts and carrying signs that say things like, “My Pussy My Choice,” “My Clothes Are Not My Consent,” and “Hoes Can Say No.” Last October, Rose herself marched through the streets carrying a sign that read “Strippers have feelings too.” The goal? According to the Walk’s Twitter bio, it’s “to combat Women’s Equality issues, such as sexual injustice, victim blaming, derogatory labeling and gender inequality.”

 

That description is what made me do a double take at my computer screen after Rose fired off the Tweet the broke the Internet: 

 

Derogatory labeling. Gender inequality. These are the things that Amber Rose has dedicated her life and career to ending. So why, after Kanye threw some serious shade at her and her ex Wiz Kalifia via Twitter, was Rose’s first instinct to publicly shame Kanye for what he likes in bed? You know the phrase “You can’t fight fire with fire”? It seems to me that you can’t fight slut shaming with slut shaming, either.

 

Modern feminism is admittedly tricky. Am I allowed to unapologetically shake my ass to a gangsta rap song even as I grow more and more appalled by its highly offensive lyrics? Is it OK to buy a dress because it makes my rack look AMAZING, and still want to punch catcallers in the face when they comment on said rack? These are questions that real-life feminists deal with everyday, and there’s a lot of gray area. But, at least for me, slut shaming is one area that is very clearly black and white.

 

 

If we, as women, don’t want to be shamed for our sexual pasts, we cannot and should not shame others for theirs. Human beings are sexual creatures; it’s totally natural (and fun!) to be curious. We all deserve the right to experiment with our sexuality and figure out what gets us off without having to worry that it’ll come back to bite us in the ass. (No pun intended.)

 

So Kanye, while I hate the fact that your go-to insults involve the words “whore” and “stripper,” I will defend to the death your right to enjoy butt stuff free from shame. Ain’t nothing wrong with #FingersInTheBooty.


Jessica DeFino is a wardrobe stylist and content creator in Los Angeles, CA.  Her work has appeared in magazines such as Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, Conde Nast Traveler, L’OFFICIEL,  ELLE, and many more.  Currently, Jessica is focusing her attention on her organization I Dress For Me, a collective of strong women with style advocating for awareness, education, and prevention of sexual assault and sexual harassment.  You can find out more about Jessica and her cause here and here

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